


overwatch lads hit each other with chair

by dadlands



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Boys, Family, Fluff, Gen, Implied Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison/Reaper | Gabriel Reyes - Freeform, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, can be read as mcgenji if you'd like, dads who love their children very much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 18:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12086838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dadlands/pseuds/dadlands
Summary: They're playing "never have I ever" at Swiss HQ in the middle of the night when Lena brings up an old game she used to play - it involves a folding chair, some violence, and copious amounts of alcohol. Naturally, Jesse and Genji want to try. Unfortunately, they're playing in the middle of the night. Double unfortunately, getting hit with a folding chair isn't quiet. Triple unfortunately, Commander Reyes has very good ears.





	overwatch lads hit each other with chair

SWISS HEADQUARTERS, 0217. 07-05-20XX.

The field behind the Swiss Headquarters was more often used for outdoor ceremonies, such as graduations, promotions, and funerals, than it was used for getting drunk out of your mind at an unholy hour of the night.  
This is what Lena Oxton, Genji Shimada, and Jesse McCree were using it for. Genji had removed his mask two hours ago, and revealed that he did have the capacity to drink, and had no idea how much it would take to actually get him drunk. At this point, Lena and Jesse had broken into Torbjorn’s hard liquor, as Jesse ran out of whiskey and Lena had found out that her body could process much, much more alcohol than it could pre-Slipstream. What had started as a walk with friends after a hard mission and a skipped dinner turned into a part-drinking game, part-feelings circle.  
“Never have I ever, hm! Never have I ever crashed a car,” Lena said. Both Jesse and Genji downed their shot at the same time, with Lena gasping, “Genji!”  
“It was my father’s car,” Genji explained.  
“And?” Jesse prompted.  
“It was an incredibly, incredibly ugly car,” Genji finished, causing both Jesse and Lena to burst out laughing.  
Genji poured them more liquor as he spoke. “Never have I ever accidentally called a sup - superior - kuso - boss ‘dad’.”  
Jesse drank without hesitation, with Lena following after. Jesse looked over at Lena, who shrugged, and then giggled again.  
“Never have I never,” Jesse said out loud, prompting another giggle from Lena and a snort from Genji. “Never have I ever, hell, been hit with a chair.”  
Genji raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent. Lena paused for a moment before making an ‘oh’ with her mouth and taking another shot of the Swedish liquor.  
“I forgot about that,” she said excitedly, words pouring out faster than they usually did. “It was a game we used to play in London.”  
“A game?” Genji asked, taking a sip of the birthday cake vodka Lena had brought. He grimaced at the taste - cloyingly sweet, but with a warm feeling down his throat that numbed the other chills against his skin.  
“Mm-hmm, we’d hit each other with folding chairs. For fun,” Lena said, as if it explained anything.  
“Sort of like a fight?” Jesse asked.  
Lena laughed and shook her head. “No, we were all friends when we hit each other with chairs! Pals. Chums. Mates. Just some mates foolin’ around with folding chairs.”  
“I think I saw something similar in American Wrestling once,” Genji said.  
“The hell? You watched wrestling?” Jesse asked. “No, wait, I wanna figure out this damn chair thing. Tell us more, Lena.”  
“That’s it!” Lena exclaimed. “We’d be sitting there, and one cheeky lad would go, ‘hey, there’s a folding chair, come over here!’” She gestured as if she was holding a chair and slamming it. “And wham! Chair!”  
Jesse looked extremely pensive. Lena reached for her birthday cake vodka and took a swig.  
“I saw a folding chair by the door,” Genji mentioned, and Jesse gasped. Lena stood up and checked her balance before quickly blinking to said door. She nearly fell on her way back with the chair, but returned.  
“No one saw me,” Lena said happily. Genji coughed.  
“Why would you say that?” He said.  
She shrugged. “Don’t want anyone to see us stealing a chair, yeah?”  
Jesse rolled his eyes. “We’re not stealing it. We’re gonna give it back.”  
“Well-” Lena struggled for a reason. “Well, Doc’ Ziegler’ll kill us if she sees us playing the chair game.”  
Jesse’s eyes widened. “Is it that dangerous?”  
Lena straightened her shoulders, happy to be taken seriously. “Oh yes,” she said. “Mm-hmm. I had a best mate never come back from chairs. Wandered into an alley and never showed up again.”  
“Bullshit,” Genji said, looking into the almost-empty bottle of Swedish liquor as he stood up, surprisingly balanced.  
“Do you wanna go first, Genji?” Lena asked, and Genji held up his hands.  
“Doctor Ziegler would kill me if you killed me with that chair,” he warned. Jesse snorted, and Genji turned to face him. “She’d bring me back to kill me again.”  
Lena nodded, still holding the chair. “Winston will - he’ll cry if I break the accelerator. And I’ll die. So I can’t go first.”  
“Can Winston cry?” Genji asked.  
“Yeah, I’ve seen him. We were watching The Last Unicorn and-”  
“ALRIGHT,” Jesse announced. “I’ll go first.”  
Lena cheered. Genji handed him the bottle of Swedish liquor. “First step, you need to take off your shirt,” Lena said, with a grin on her face.  
“Ain’t you gonna take me to dinner first?” McCree grinned back as her unbuttoned, and Genji smacked him upside the head.  
“The only one Lena is going to dinner with is Amelie Lacroix,” Genji said. Jesse hooted a hearty laugh and Lena cursed Genji out in what sounded like English but didn’t make any sense.  
“She’s married,” Lena insisted, bright red. “And probably straight.”  
“Probably,” Genji said.  
“Anways,” Lena continued. “You gotta bend over so your back is straight. And, uh, then I’ll aim, and then that’s the game.”  
“Wait, this isn’t much of a game,” Jesse thought out loud as he bent over. He finished off the Swedish liquor and then chucked it on the ground.  
“Can I help with the chair?” Genji asked.  
“Sure thing, Genj,” Lena said, offering him a leg of it. “Alright, on three,” she started. “One, two -”  
“Christ, my knees,” Jesse groaned as Lena yelled, “Three!”  
“CHRIST, MY BACK!” Jesse screamed as the chair made contact. Genji and Lena both dropped it as McCree fell over.  
“Jesse! Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Lena said. “I thought you knew -”  
Genji dropped to make sure Jesse was still alive, and stood up laughing as he realized that Jesse was completely fine.  
“What did you think was going to happen, idiot?” He laughed, more than he had in a lifetime. Genji offered Jesse a hand, and Jesse smirked before taking it and pulling Genji down with him.  
“Damn your British games,” Jesse laughed as Lena flopped down beside the impromptu wrestling match, calling out different names as it continued.  
“It was a pretty funny game when I was younger,” Lena admitted as she laid on her back, legs on Genji’s, Genji resting on Jesse’s stomach, and Jesse with an arm flopped on either one of them.  
“It was funny now,” Genji said.  
“I think it woulda been more funny if we hit Genji,” Jesse said. Genji dug the back of his head into Jesse’s stomach as Jesse let out an ‘oof’ and laughed again.  
There were a few moments of silence, before Jesse broke it.  
“What do we do now?” Jesse asked.  
“Go to bed?” Genji suggested. Lena sat up suddenly, accidentally smacking Genji on her way up.  
“Run?” She suggested, while a loud, angry voice called from the headquarters, “JESSE MCCREE!”  
Jesse shot up as Genji quickly tried to turn off his lights on his body. “Shit,” he whispered, as Lena grabbed Jesse’s serape to hide the light of her accelerator. “Shit, shit,” he kept saying as he threw his mask back on.  
“GENJI SHIMADA!” The same voice called, and they recognized it as Reyes, who, as he got closer, was revealed to be in fluffy pajama pants and a black hoodie.  
“Oh, good luck with this, guys. Important Blackwatch stuff. See you later,” Lena said as she began sneaking away, only to walk into Morrison with a loud squeak.  
Morrison shined a light down on her, and she dropped the serape and sighed. Lena squinted into the light and tried to smile. “Good evening, Strike Commander.” She looked up at down at his black hoodie and flannel pants.  
“It’s almost two-thirty in the morning. Why did I just hear Jesse McCree’s trademark scream from across the headquarters?” Gabe growled and Jack continued to stare disapprovingly down at the three of them. Lena quickly passed Jesse his serape, and Jesse quickly wrapped it around himself.  
“Kinda chilly out here, sir,” Jesse started. Genji handed Jesse his shirt in response. “Thanks, partner.”  
Jesse looked fervently away from Gabe as he put on his shirt, while Genji made firm eye contact with him. Lena kept looking at Jack and Gabe intermittently.  
“Oxton,” Jack said at the same time Lena started, “Okay, alright, it was me! I hit Jesse with the chair.”  
There was a pause, and then Genji added, “I helped.”  
“T’be fair, I volunteered,” Jesse finished. “It was something Lena told us in never have I - never have I heard of such a weird game, sir,” he saved as Gabe sighed loudly.  
“You came out here, got drunk, hit each other with a chair,” Gabe said flatly.  
“We’re still kind of drunk, sir,” Lena added, and Jack picked up the empty bottles of Swedish liquor and birthday cake vodka for proof. “But you scared most of it out of us. Sir.”  
There was another awkward silence, and Gabe broke it with a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.  
“Well, Strike Commander, I think I know what my boys are doing tomorrow - or today, I should say,” Gabe said almost gleefully. “I think some exercises in coordination are in order.” Jesse groaned, and Gabe continued, “Both of you two back out here at 0400. Make sure the chair stays out here, as well. I imagine we’ll be using it for balance practice.”  
“Sounds appropriate, Commander,” Jack replied. “Cadet Oxton, I think we’ll be joining them.”  
“Yes sir,” Lena mumbled.  
“Up and at ‘em, kids,” Gabe said, offering a hand to Genji and Jesse to help them up. Genji stood on his own, but resorted to leaning a little on Jesse, who in turn was leaning heavily on Gabe. Genji looked over at Lena, who had gone from goofy to absolutely exhausted quickly, and was on Jack’s back.  
“Did you skip dinner?” Jack asked the agent on his back, who mumbled a yes.  
“Wasn’t much time after she returned,” Jesse explained, yawning. “Was out here running laps when we joined her.”  
“You ran laps?” Gabe asked, somewhat incredulously, and began walking towards the door.  
“No. We noticed the bad vodka and had pity,” Genji said dryly.  
“S’not bad,” Lena called. “Just didn’t get us drunk, yeah?” She yawned, and mumbled, “We owe Torbjorn one.”  
“That was Torbjorn’s stuff?” Jack asked, and Jesse nodded. He sighed.  
“Good thing we’ve got gatorade with your breakfast,” Gabe said offhandedly as they walked through the door, Jack ducking as to not hit Lena’s head. “It is almost three in the morning. About time for that, anyways.”  
“Is there tea?” Lena asked, cracking an eye open and groaning at the light.  
“I can get you some, Lena,” Jack replied.  
“Oh, thanks, dad,” she mumbled. Gabe smiled and rolled his eyes as Jack cleared his throat and glared over at him, falling behind the group as he stopped to keep Lena from falling off his back.  
“Yeah, thanks, dad,” Jesse said, still leaning against Gabe as they walked forward.  
Genji added his thanks in Japanese, and in English once he realized the language slip-up.

No one, he thought, needed to know that he’d accidentally added ‘dad’ to his first thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> you ever think about how lena's 19 when she's in overwatch. i think about it a lot. i think it must be hard, sometimes. and i think genji and jesse are good friends who try to help her out when they can. they're like her very annoying older brothers who are also part of a covert government agency. and one of them wears a cowboy hat. genji learns a lot from helping her. he gains a dad in the process.
> 
> jack is lena's emotionally stunted dad who probably cries the first time she calls him dad accidentally. in private, of course. gabe throws tissues at him and says "welcome to my world"
> 
> oh. and i should mention that this entire thing is inspired by this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9oZaP-my5E. 
> 
> thanks for reading.


End file.
